It's 13:54 on Wednesday the 24.01 and it's been over two days since my first post and despite prayers and hope otherwise there is still no trace of either the airplane or passengers Emiliano Sala and David Ibbotson.
Can someone tell me what to do because right now I have no idea.
The sky outside my office is the dullest shade of grey and the general sick feeling in the pit of my stomach continues to murmur away like distant thunder. Shock has turned to sadness and now abject sorrow.
The football has definitely taken the furthest seat away from me right now, honestly why do we care so much about a game when people's lives have probably been lost and families destroyed.
The sad truth is, at some point the football will become important again and that sense of perspective will be gone all over again.
I sat here at my desk listening to a ten minute interview between Talksport's Jim White and the Cardiff City chief executive Ken Choo with tears in my eyes. To hear the strain in his voice and appreciate the multi-faceted tragedy that he has been tasked with somehow steering Cardiff City makes one appreciate just how tough this has been on Cardiff City Football Club in general.
We stand and fall together as a family and right now we are down. We will rise again one day but right now the punch has only just landed and it still feels like we're falling.
May we learn the news we are all desperate to learn sooner rather than later and may Mr Sala and Mr Ibbotson's families know that no matter what happens, we are for them and with them every step of the way.
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